I want to state unequivocally that I have never been offered these fakes, I was never offered the fake Dracula one sheet that went to California, I was never offered any Haggard fakes and I turned down the Salvador Dali fakes that some schmuck brought to me.
I also never bought or owned any fake Gucci shoes, I always get my Santos by Cartier cologne at Dillards and to my knowledge, none of my past girlfriends had any fake boobs, but I have to admit, if any did, and they were offered to me, I most definitely took them, and I most definitely would have gone motorboating.